Thursday, August 12, 2010

We Have the Neighbor Kids to Thank

The birds and the bees. Ahhhh. I had visions of how it was going to go down the day it came up in our house.  I pictured the kids being around 10 and sitting down with them at the table to explain everything to them. I pictured my hubby's red face as I did all the talking. I even pictured the kids giggling as we talked about it. But thanks to the old neighbor kids, I won't be needing to have that talk with my kids. Yep. They already told them alllllllllllll about it. Allow me to explain.

Not long ago, Emma (who is 7 by the way) gives me this funny little grin. "I know what the "S" word is."  And me, having no clue what the heck she was talking about says, "What "S" Word?"  Emma says "You know, the S-E Word." Oooooohhh NOoooooooooooooo she isn't going to say the word I think she is going to say. I'm praying in my head, "Don't say it, Don't say it, Don't say it." "S-E-X" she spells out. Ahhhhhh. Ok ok. It's not so bad, right? So I ask her what it means. She giggles and looks at me and says "Emma is not available. Please try again later." lolololol Ok so I am thinking she just heard the word and it's no big deal but oh no. Finally she comes clean. "Sex is when 2 people get naked and kiss." Ok, so not as bad as I thought. But still bad enough. "Where did you hear that at Emma?" Emma says, "The neighbor kids. We know a lot of stuff you don't think we know about. We aren't dumb you know?!" So I ask her what else she knows, almost cringing not wanting to know what my sweet, little, innocent 2nd grader knows!  So she goes on to tell me all about a girl hits puberty and gets boobs and starts her period. I was flabbergasted. Sitting and listening to this little girl who should know none of these things!  Stinkin neighbor kids. She then tells me how the neighbor boy (Who is only 8 by the way) told them they should search the internet for the "World's Largest Penis." Yea. Nice huh?!  My sweet, pretty little girl now knows way too much. They grow too quick.

I mean, I am super careful what things we talk about at home. I am even more careful what they watch on tv, what they hear on the radio.......but I am throwing in the towel. I now realize that I can't control every single thing they hear. They go to school with hundreds of other kids whose parents don't have the same values as us.  Kids who probably really do know what sex is. Kids who know things that little kids just shouldn't know about in my opinion!!  So all the hard work I do to protect my kids just goes right down the drain because of some kids whose parents obviously pay no attention to what they are hearing, watching, whatever. How annoying.  I guess we won't be needing to have that talk after all. By time they get old enough, they are going to know more than me anyway, right?!


  1. OH BOY!

    My 3 year old who is now 5 said to Grandpa, "Grandpa, I want some God Damn chocolate! Can I have some God Damn chocolate?" A week later he was to start Bible School.

  2. Oh No! Being a teacher I hear it all the time. My kids come from very low to no income homes, they know about everything!

    As for the internet search. Be very careful about that. My niece and her friend googled "BUTTS" and up popped a porno. She ran home telling her mom she saw a lady eating a penis :::jaw drop::: My sister about died!

  3. Oh my dear god. I have a near-3 year old. This makes me grateful for the lack of neighbor kids. And makes me want to move to the middle of nowhere! AHHHHH!!!


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