Friday, August 5, 2011

Dealing with Disappointment

As hard as we try to make our kids happy, what I have learned is that they must learn to deal with disappointments in life because let's face it......we all know that there will be many. If we give our kids everything they want and they always get their way, they will have no idea how to cope when they are older and they realize that life isn't always butterflies and roses.

This is a week my kids have been looking forward to for awhile now because it's the week when the much anticipated "class lists" hit the front doors of the local elementary schools. This is the exciting time when they bolt out of the car and run up to the lists to see if they got the teachers they wanted or if their friends are going to be in their classes. We got word yesterday that the lists were posted so Emma and I snuck out of the house and left the boys with Daddy so we could see how everybody did this year.

First we looked for Joshua's class and I was ECSTATIC to see he has Mrs. Davis this year for 1st grade. Emma had her a couple of years ago and we love love love love love her. Did I mention that we LOVE her?! She is one of the sweetest teachers in the school and Josh wanted to get her so bad for 1st grade so we were definitely stoked. He even has a little friend in his class so that was a huge sigh of relief for him! Now he REALLY can't wait for the 1st grade!

Next up was Emma. She was a little bummed that she and her cousin didn't get in the same class but she does have her friend Claire with her this year. She was initially upset because she thought she got the "meanest teacher in the 3rd grade" but after coming home and looking her up in the yearbook, she realized that she got a good teacher. She was still a little upset that only one of her friends was in her class but still excited!

Finally, it was time to find Drew's name on the list.  I believe our school had three 4th grade teachers retire last year so there were a lot of unfamiliar names on the list to me. I finally found his name under "Ms. Smith" and yep, she is new so I don't know anything about her yet. Quickly scrolling through the list of names in the class, my heart sank. Not only is there not a single one of Drew's friends in his class but it's quite the opposite. He got stuck with a boy who gave him a hard time last year (You probably remember me talking about when he got shoved down on the playground towards the end of the school year back in May). When we got home, I told him who his teacher was and he wasn't excited or disappointed as we don't know Ms. Smith but he was definitely bummed when I read off his class list and he realized none of his friends are in his class. He was even more bummed when he realized that he was in with a rough group of kids........for the 2nd year in a row.

Of course my first instinct was that I wanted to call the principal and get his class assignment changed. I hate that he doesn't have any friends in his class and I want him to have a good year because this is his last year before middle school. But after giving it some thought, I realized I can't do that! This is life. Sometimes we are going to get job assignments with people we don't want to work with and guess what?! We just have to deal with it. So I decided to just stay super positive and upbeat with Drew and I told him he would still have his friends on the playground and who knows?! He might just make a couple new friends this year and that would rock!

So I think we are good. We are still looking forward to school starting, even though Drew feels like he got the short end of the stick. I told him the principal must have thought that they needed a couple good kids in the class like him to give the teacher a break from the rowdy ones. *LoL* That seemed to work for him.

It's hard to see your children disappointed but it's always a great opportunity to help teach your kids great life lessons. How do you help your kids deal with disappointments?


  1. Such a hard one but so important that they learn how to deal with things not working out. I always told my kids that as long as they did their very best even if they did not achieve what they wanted that they were winners because by failing they learned what not to do next time. I have never been one that pushed my kids to be #1. They were #1 as long as they worked hard and did their very best.

  2. A hard lesson to learn on both sides. I am a 4th grade teacher, so I know how you feel about getting the right teacher, the right fit, and avoiding that "yucky" group of kids. The principal should go to great efforts to separate them...mine does, but she is awesome!!

  3. I do hate to see kids suffer and our first thing we want to do is stop it if we can. You handled this great with great wisdom. I am impressed. Rita Spratlen


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