Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Never Good Enough!

Have you ever had someone in your life that always made you feel like you weren't good enough?! Ok, maybe it's not THAT bad but do you have a Mom or a Mother-in-law or maybe it's a Grandma or a Friend who are always pointing things out and making you feel like you aren't doing a good enough job?

Case in point. My parents stopped over today. I have had a busy day of cleaning house and I was pretty much finished except for one room which I planned to do when Aiden took his nap this afternoon. It's impossible for me to do laundry when he is awake because he LOVES to knock my nicely folded piles over while he is "helping." So within the first 5 minutes of my mom being there, she says 4 things to me about my house.

#1. You should borrow your sister's upholstery cleaner and shampoo your furniture!

#2. At the end of the month do you want me to take a couple days off work and come over and help you touch some paint and other things up?

#3. You know if you put a little bleach in a spray bottle, it will take care of that mildew in the bathroom.

#4. All this room needs is some colored curtains and it would brighten it up a lot.

Ugh! Seriously?! And I bet she doesn't even notice that she does it and it drives me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! Be honest. Wouldn't that drive you nuts too?! Or do you think I am totally overreacting to be so annoyed? I love my Mom to death and she does a lot of stuff for me but GEEEEEEEEEEEESH! I am sorry that my house isn't perfect. I have 4 kids and a husband and I do my best to keep it looking good. I mean, I think I do a GREAT job considering all that is on my plate! But she says these things every time she comes over and it drives me bonkers! Ugh!


MamaBee said...

Perhaps you could ask her if she would be willing to do those things... be like, "Mom, I simply can't add anything else to my plate right now, but if you wanted to borrow the upholstery cleaner and figure out what to do with the kids while they can't be on the furniture and paint and buy curtains, and SAFELY get rid of the mildew in the bathrooms, that would be great! Otherwise it's all going to have to wait until I have some extra time on my hands, which right is scheduled for March 4th of 2018, but that's looking iffy" And then just smile and go back to what you were doing :)

My mom gave me 3 hours of housework for my birthday :) I'm not sure if to be thrilled or completely insulted!

Heather said...

That's when you hand your Mom the rag and tell her where the bleach and spray bottle is, and ask her to do it because you haven't had the time, lol. Then if she feels that certain curtains would look good in a certain room, ask her to buy them for you or tell her that you like those curtains and you like it darker in there. I don't like my house overly bright, but for some reason, older people like lots of light in their homes. Then say to her "Next time you come visit, stop at my sister's house and pick up the upholstery cleaner so that you use it on my furniture next time you come over. I would!

Carrie Phelps said...

Sarah, I'm sorry she makes you feel this way. Perhaps she doesn't understand she's overstepping her boundaries in YOUR home. I once had a mother in-law like this & it drove me crazy. Do your best to just ignore it or just ask her to stop nit picking your home! Honestly, what can she expect with children living in the home? Both my children are adults and would never accept this from me. My daughter has two boys (2 & 4) and a daughter due any day now and she doesn't have time for all these little things that are so unimportant. If it helps, get yourself a pin cushion, give it her name & poke her a few times!

Sarah Lewis said...

I think she doesn't even realize she is doing it......she will now as she is an avid "Crazy House" follower. haha. Seriously though, I even left out the one where she said, "You need to clean the wall behind Aiden's high chair." *LOL* She did come over and shampoo my carpets herself not long ago though. hehe Maybe I can make her a list the next time she stops over!

Just Cherish Today said...

I would go nuts if my mom said that, I'd tell her to mind her own business. My mom is a little nit picky too but I just ignore her. Nobody should ever make you feel like that. Just ignore it. I'm sure you are doing a great job at your house!

Michele said...

You're right - she probably has no idea how critical she sounds. I agree with Carrie - spending time with your family is more important than touching up paint!

dannyscotland said...

Invite her over and show her the episode of "Friends" where Monica's grandmother passes away and her mother is criticizing her like crazy. Her mother goes on for a minute about how her own mother criticized her constantly, then starts to do the same to Monica again, catches herself, and stops. Then tell her that it hurts your feelings that she is so quick to find your flaws instead of taking note of the amazing and good things you're doing, like raising those four wonderful kids for example. But I think you are not overreacting and she probably doesn't realize it. She probably just thinks she's being helpful. I would just say you need to talk to her. I'm sorry she made you feel bad. Geez, I can't imagine what she'd say about my house, and I only have one kid!! :-)

Robin Quick said...

OMG sounds like my EX MIL! That woman actually came in my home and rearranged my closets while I was out of town! Then when I was in the hospital she hired a maid service to clean my home spotless!. . did she ask? NOPE! Of course this is a woman that has her expensive Electrolux vacuum out every day vacuuming. Its insane! She always made me feel like my home wasnt clean enough & it was fine as it was! Did I mention shes my EX MIL? lol .. .my current MIL is a Saint & wouldnt think of insulting my home!

karenmed409 said...

Our mothers must be related.. Hubby cringes when she stops by to visit.. never offers to give a hand.. only visits when their is drama in her life.

Sarah Lewis said...

My Mom is wonderful, don't get me wrong :) She watches our kids on the weekends to give hubby and I time alone together, she even bakes and cooks for me when I ask....I just think she doesn't realize that EVERY time she comes over, she is constantly pointing things out that aren't good enough. She does offer to help though, I just don't want her to! I am 30 years old. It's my house and I can handle it! lol

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